mood swing molly

yesterday, this was me:


yes, it's a sad cat hehe. but today, this is me:


happy cat! things are looking up.

1) the pool has re-opened! i used it last night and while it was too busy for my liking, it felt great to get a workout in. i think i will go back tonight.

2) 1.5 more work days until my vacation! i'm going to the dominican republic ... le sigh.

3) i think i was holding in some anticipatory anxiety about an appointment i had last night. the things women do for beauty! when i got home i felt a wave of relaxation and release!

4) on monday lunch i met my mom at costco because i wanted more intuition razors for my trip (the speedy kind with the shave gel on the razor ... love it). i also bought the biggest containers of blueberries and strawberries i have ever seen and now i am forced to eat blueberries and raspberries for every meal and snack. i wish i were joking! no i don't - they are so delicious. and i feel rich! it's like having a wad of cash but i have a giant container filled up with blueberries! i'm rich!

5) right now i am picking up $100 in US bills at the bank. i had to pre-order them yesterday. good thing i'm thinking ahead.

6) how many spray containers do you think i'll need on my seven day vacation. keep in mind a) i'm sharing with my bf and b) i'm ghostly pale. so far i have 4 - do you think i should bring more?

that's all for now,
happcat.

forget about the weekend

that story is over.

first, sheryl asked me to share some motivating tips to stay focused and i will do that ... in tomorrow's post. oh boy, something to look forward to.

so, if you recall my birthday was in june. my boyfriend got me a special something that i didn't want to share until it was confirmed. now it is so i can spill the beans. at the end of july, we are going here:


i am so excited, words cannot even describe it. in terms of tropical getaways i've only been to cuba once, with my girlfriends. it was fun but the food was lackluster, there were cockaroaches in the bathroom and ants invaded my suitcase and everything in it and i spent SIX HOURS picking them all off everything i owned (including inside my umbrella) while they tried to bite me. they wouldn't just fall off either because they were pinchy pinchy. i shudder to remember it.

last night i tried on my sports swimming bikini, and a bikini i've never worn, that my bf bought for me last summer in laguna beach. then i took photos of myself. at first i was blinded by my white skin and then, after my eyesight came back, i decided i need to try a little harder in the food and exercise departments. it's time to really step it up in the gym and cut out processed or junky foods as much as i can.

we are also going for a cottage weekend with TONS of friends not this weekend but the next. one of my friends recently said that she didn't care who saw her in a bathing suit at a resort because it was just a bunch of strangers, but in front of friends it's a different story because they are all judging her more. i sort of see her point, but for me, i kind of group the resort and the cottage weekend in the same way. people (friends or strangers) can judge me all i want, but really it's not their opinions that make any difference. if i think that i don't look my best, i'm not going to feel my best. if i do feel like i look my best, then i am going to have confidence, and really, people who judge other people are intimidated by people with confidence, because they just don't care what they think, taking away all of the judger's power. deep thoughts with yours truly.

there are things about my body i really like and things i don't (obviously).

like: toned arms, slim legs, general appearance (face, smile, etc.), i actually like my pale skin too
dislike: small breasts, cellulite butt, thick waist (compared to my hips), flabby tummy (side handles and back handles) - no handling allowed!

there really was no point whining about it so i went right down to the gym for a double workout.

i walked on the treadmill for 30 minutes, speed of 3.5, for 15 minutes (not all at once) i walked with an incline of 10%. i was sweating SO MUCH i couldn't believe it. it was so intense - way more intense than running for 5-miles (sweat-wise). i also did some sit-ups and push ups before hitting the pool for a 35 minute swim. refreshing.

today i have a run planned after work. i have enough time to tone up before my vacation so i am going to make use of that time! there is no point not to other than laziness and that's a pretty dumb reason!

working hard, not hardly working

i love summer but it's a bit crazy!

last week i followed my half-marathon training plan to a T.

this week we have:

monday: swimming 35 minutes (i'm switching this with running - i just can't run on mondays ... too tired!)
tuesday: running 4 to 5 miles
wednesday: rest
thursday: running 4 to 5 miles
friday: swimming 35 minutes
saturday: running 4 to 5 miles
sunday: rest

my weekend was good. i had friday off in lieu of working wednesday, canada day. on thursday night i met one of my girlfriends at fresh, and it was absolutely phenomenal. i ordered the "energy" bowl which was marinated tofu cubes, rich coconut curry sauce, chick pea & vegetable stew, cucumber, tomato, red onion, sunflower sprouts & tahini sauce on brown basmati rice. i asked for no cucumbers and got beets or carrot instead - the bowl was a bit messy so i couldn't tell.

i also ordered the hot lung lover drink which was made from pineapple, apple, ginger, lemon, cayenne and a respiratonic. i have been on the brink of having a lung/cough/sore throat for about a week now. i am killing it with tons of vitamin C and cold fx. i think i may have beaten it because now i just have a dry cough and that's it.

anyway, it was one of the greatest meals i've ever had. everything is vegetarian and healthy - perhaps not low in calories but that's ok. i wish i was there right now.

friday i went swimming in the morning, worked (at home - i am very busy with work) all day, then went to the dentist in the afternoon. DAMMIT they sure did probe my gums! my whole mouth killed for hours afterward. i have no cavities but the chip fell out of a previously chipped tooth so i have to go back and get that fixed. on friday night i went to a bbq - our host made sweet potato fries, bbq'd asparagus, chicken kabobs and burgers. i had everything but no bun with the burger - delish. i also enjoyed samuel adams summer wheat ale which had a hint of lemon. enjoyed it.

saturday, worked all day again, went for a 4-mile run in the early afternoon. i am finding the 5-milers to be too much for me right now. i think it's the throat cough wearing me down. in the evening i went to see poison and def leppard with some friends. no i'm not joking haha. it was a lot of fun. this post is getting too long! more tomorrow :)

lunchtime

i scheduled yesterday's post to come out of the blog vault at 1:40 pm, and it didn't work. i wondered why no one was commenting! dammit! and now this one didn't post either.

yesterday i went swimming. it was pretty good. my bf came over for date night and he brought some food his mom had given to him so we had a mishmash for dinner. some lasagna and some sausages with peas and potatoes. i added beans to the mix. it was all right. i really appreciated it more when i realized i only had our dinner plates as dishes to wash. and by wash i mean put in the dishwasher. and by that i mean i'll do that tonight.

today i am scheduled for a run, but it's supposed to rain. options: a) go running in the rain - hardcore! b) run on the treadmill inside. i think i'd rather go outside and get soaked. i LOATHE running on the treadmill. it makes me so hot and bothered and i mean sweaty and actually bothered as in "this is the worst" - not to mention it's boring and there is nothing to look at except once in a while the condo maintenance guy comes and throws something in the outdoor trash. boring! sorry condo man, but you are a dullard.

i am excited because tomorrow i am meeting a friend for lunch - guess where?


wow, i'm jealous of myself. did you know they have these in ontario now? well, two or three of them - but one is close enough to my work. i have seen lots of US bloggers visiting panera bread and receiving gift cards and enjoying sandwiches and soups and i longed for that to be me. alas, my dreams are finally coming true! what shall i order? i will have to peruse the online menu tomorrow morning. ooooh i can't wait.

toronto, running, swimming, i found money

wow i'm losing followers. i felt a little pang of sadness but it's over now.

another quick list:

1) my potato salad recipe for the potluck turned out pretty well. everyone enjoyed it thoroughly! it was more work than i thought because i had to boil eggs and potatoes first and cool them before even starting. it's fun to separate the yolk from the white in cooled hard boiled eggs. the yolks look so funny. like little shiny orange fun balls. there was so much yummy food at the potluck ... it can all be yours in the fall for the low low price of ... um ... i don't know yet!

2) this morning i woke up super early (5:20 am) and ran four miles. i have to be at work at 8 am and i commute so i have to leave at 7:20 am and i have to shower after a run (obviously ... don't want to stink) and realistically i need 20 minutes or so after waking up to get dressed and ready to run. it was hard to wake up and i really thought about going back to sleep but once i got moving it was fine AND the city was cool and empty! AND i found a loonie and a tcc token (toronto transit $2.75) my lucky day. i went to bed last night at 10 pm to prepare for this big event.

3) last night i went swimming. at first i didn't want to, even when i got into the pool. but then i thought to myself - remember when you loved swimming? where did the love go? and i realized my problem was (and is) that i'm always trying to squish a workout in, instead of enjoying myself. so i said NO RUSH, slowed it down, and really had a great swim. i hate feeling like i have to do this, got to do it right now, right now before my next pressing activity! i need to calm down. after my swim i showered and had a steam in the change room - very luxurious. i am pretty luck to have a pool and a steam room in my building!

4) tonight is date night. we are watching canada's next top model and make me a supermodel which i taped last night. i am also lucky my "main squeeze" likes watching model shows with me.

5) good places to shop in toronto:

number one: queen street west (if you start at yonge and queen - the bay at eaton centre) go west past bay and it's awesome store heaven. and you'll get to see city tv/muchmusic building which could be cool if you've never seen it. speaker's corner is also there. good shopping goes a bit past spadina road - there is an urban outfitters and american apparel and then it dies out before bathurst street.

number two: yorkville (yonge and bloor) go up yonge to bloor and walk west on bloor - the shopping here is amazing! there is holt renfrew which carries top designers, on bloor street there is a tiffanys, a louie vuitton, a chanel... etc. obviously i don't shop there but it's nice to look. go all the way to avenue (where the royal ontario museum is) and turn north because one block up on your right is ... whole foods market! yippee! there is an awesome cheap but nice restaurant called hemingways here.

number three: kensington market, this place is a world in it's own. i love it.

call me a thespian

hi everybody. my acting debut last night was awesome. i remembered all my lines and threw in some funny improvs (i think) and people laughed. great success. people thought i came from an acting background which was the biggest compliment i could have received. i am not a shy person but am VERY quiet. if i don't have anything to say i just won't say it. silences do not make me feel awkward at all - i just sit through them. silence is golden. i even tell my cat "shhhhh, stop meowing, let's be quiet" HA!

fashion update: i got the shoes after all. i went back to the first location and retried on the size i thought was too big and they fit. i don't know why i thought they didn't fit. i am notorious for getting shoes that i think fit perfectly and then they are too small. i just want my feet to look cute and small in trainers - that is the problem. i am quite annoyed at myself for driving all the way to the other mall just to find them when i didn't even have to. anyway, it's in the past. all that matters now is that i have cute shoes. remind me to untie the laces EVERY time i take them off, instead of doing that step-on-the-heel-with-your-other-foot move that causes shoes to ruin.

fitness update: monday was running and tuesday i swam for about 30 minutes. i only did 100 lengths instead of 120 - whoopadeedo. this couple came into the pool and were being all smoochy-boochy and it was making me feel annoyed at them, only because i was hungry. otherwise i don't mind the love. PDAs, bring them on, i don't care. yesterday i did nothing because it was my acting debut. and today ... well, right now i am at the gym in my office running on the treadmill. well, i hopefully am if no one else is on it. there is only one. can you tell i am pre-posting today? i brought my running stuff and my shower stuff. i just want to have my evening tonight to relax. by relax i mean clean the toilet ... GROAN.

food update: not much to say here. i think i need to bring less food to work because it seems if i have it, i will eat it, regardless of whether or not i am even hungry. i can't keep emergency snacks in my desk because i want to eat them all right away. even pb2 can be dangerous. i need to work on eating more filling meals, rather than less filling meals in combination with snacks. today i am tracking points and calories, just for interests sake. by the end of the work day, if i eat everything i brought (which i will) i'll have consumed: 14.5 points and 835 calories. interesting, no?

i have a life update too, but i'll post it tomorrow. now you have to come back!

tuesday

it's tuesday or, as my bf says, almost the weekend. it's a good attitude.

last night i did not go swimming as planned. i went running instead! i didn't go for 5 miles but i did 4.3 or something like that and it was awesome. i went later in the evening and it was brisk. i was a bit worried that i wouldn't be able to get to sleep right away but trust me, that wasn't a problem. i am going to swim today instead. i have less time anyway because of my rehearsal, so it makes sense.

while i was running, i noticed that many MANY people were walking along, probably home from work eating chips or cheetos out of a small bag. WTF! Is this really something that people do? maybe it's just me, but I prefer to eat in a pleasant environment where i can truly enjoy my food. sitting in front of the tv or computer for example, if i'm alone. i don't like standing and eating, or walking and eating, and eating on public transit is just gross for many reasons. eating in your car is ok, but it's kind of mindless. it just kind of struck me dumb. no matter how hungry i was, i would never NEVER buy a bag of chips from the convenient store and munch them down while i was walking home. wow. i'm talking at least ten people. enough for me to notice. a homeless woman also tried to squeegee me, but that's another story.

i saw these awesome sneakers at stylesense and i want them so bad but they aren't in my size. yesterday i trekked all over the GTA in my car to find them with no avail. i called first but store policy is not to do shoe checks over the phone. store policy is the armpits, if you ask me. they are coach shoes and normally i'm not into name brands (i just don't care about them) but they are so cute and comfortable, and not bulky in that teenage-skater-running-shoe way.

thanks to the people who have recently been coming out of the woodwork in my comments. what does that even mean anyway ... coming out of the woodwork? how does something come out of woodwork? and what woodwork? anyway, it's nice to know when people are reading. it makes me want to share more. except it makes me sad when i click on your profile and nothing is there, or your blog is private and i can't read it. i want to know you too. let me in dammit!

back it up

let me set the record straight here: the cleanse i'm doing IS PERFECTLY SAFE. you go about your exercise and healthy eating as usual, but take 2 cleansing pills each morning and 2 each evening for 15 days. this is the exact one i'm doing. it's all herbal and there are no laxative-like properties. it's so gentle that i don't really notice much of a difference because i consume a fair amount of fibre and things like flax seed which are known to flush out the system anyway. so really - it's more for fun than anything else. i do feel less bloated ... sort of. it's hard to tell.

i haven't weighed myself in a while so i don't have anything to report on that front. perhaps i will weigh myself on friday. i don't want to know but it won't be that bad i'm sure. i know i probably am above my happy maintenance zone but it's definitely not by more than 1 to 5 pounds.

the good news is that i have been running again and consistently. i go three or four times per week (not on consecutive days) and have run 3 or 4 miles each time. sometimes i have to stop and walk and sometimes not. i'll regain that endurance if i keep it up. last week i ran monday, wednesday, friday and yesterday (sunday). i went swimming on tuesday and today (monday). i think if i keep up with the running and throw in some cross training activities AND watch my diet on weekdays i'll be able to get down to wear i feel the best.

tomorrow at work we are having a potluck for an upcoming cookbook we are putting out. if you remember last month i spent some days at a food photo shoot. so now we are all testing recipes and recording things like prep time, taste, ease, etc... just to make sure. i made these oatmeal banana bars with walnuts and crazy flours like brown rice flour, barley flour, spelt flour and kamut flour. it's very tasty and my mission tonight is to AVOID EATING ANY MORE so i have some to offer tomorrow.


my other mission for this week is to think about my hunger after exercising. i am in the mindset where i eat after every workout, regardless of whether or not i'm hungry. i think this affected me less in the past because i always worked out before a meal, but now that i work crazier hours it's harder to do that. maybe i should just try to work out before a meal ... thoughts?

do you eat something after every workout? you are supposed to eat protein after a weight training workout, but what about cardio?

monday madness

a few things:

1) i bought a garmin forerunner 305! i bought it last night. i can't wait to use it because i live very close to lake ontario and now i can go for runs by the lake without being scared i'll run too far and collapse in heap and die from thirst and tiredness. (i couldn't track the trails correctly on mapmyrun). i don't have it yet though... being shipped.

2) i guess i'll sell my cute cherry ladies polar f4 on ebay ... unless anyone here wants to make me an offer. nudge nudge wink wink.

3) vitalicious.ca is having amazing incentives. if you buy $100 worth of products before April 30, and you live in ontario, shipping is free AND you get a skipping rope with a jump counter and calorie counter (regular $20) thrown in for free. i think the skipping rope is free no matter where you live, but i think the free shipping is limited to ontario and quebec. sorry, rest of cananda. i got a 24 pack of triple chocolate vitatops, a 24 pack of blueberry bran and a 24 pack of multibran. yes the chocolate ones are good, but i prefer to eat the bran-ier ones in before a morning workout, or as a mid-morning snack. they feel really hearty and delicious.

4) i am going swimming in the next ten minutes. i have book club later tonight so i've got to boot it!

5) i am going to cancel my weightwatchers online subscription before May 8 (when my month runs out). i like it but i'm just not using it and i could be using that money for other things. i can count points without the online tracker, it just takes a bit more effort.

6) i bought tempeh to try today. should i make a tempeh and pb sandwich a la kath?

pre-scheduled post

i love pre-scheduled posts. this week has turned from sour to sweeeeeeet! i think it was my crazy woman hormones making me looney tunes. it's tough being a woman - men just don't understand.

work is busy - on wednesday (and until today) i was sent to help with a food photo shoot for an upcoming cookbook. (if you didn't know i work in publishing). food styling and food photography is SUCH an interesting process, and i feel SO LUCKY that i get to experience it. there is a photographer, her assistants, graphic designers and a food stylist, who does all of the cooking and prepping. there are so many decisions to make - how to make the food look appealing, what bowl or plate to use, utensils, linens, tabletops, background glasses, etc. so much goes into making the shot PERFECT. so interesting. and being around food all day is awesome as well. unfortunately most of the time you can't eat the finished product - because it's been touched and prodded and moved around. but sometimes you can (or so i've heard).

anyway. weight is stable, down a little. my happy weight is about 3-5 pounds lighter. feeling happy and relaxed though. sun is shining (at least that is the forecast!) and today is friday WAHOO! no big plans for the weekend except a party at my bf's on saturday. i bought him new patio lights - rope lights like this to wind around the fence on his deck:

they look like they can withstand weather, right? oh boy. i am planning on a morning swim today (friday) and a saturday 5k run. sunday hopefully another swim? i have book club and we read the cellist of sarajevo. it was okay but i probably wouldn't recommend it because i found the plot to be a little repetitive. i kind of feel like a jerk because the subject matter of the book is quite intense. sorry - that's my opinion and i'm sticking to it.

have a great weekend :)

i'm baaaacccckkkkk

not that i was gone for very long. oh, my sickness was TORTUROUS! it really wiped me out in a major way. let's recap:

saturday: felt a little weird, stayed home at night and rented movies with my main squeeze.

sunday: felt kind of queasy. had to go to dinner at my parent's house for easter. was pretty crabby by the end of the night. head cloudy.

monday: wanted to curl up and hide. unfortunately had to work 8-4. i'm on 3-month probation because i'm new so i didn't want to take time off. i was taking cold fx but i believe it's a placebo. maybe it was helping my sickness leave but it wasn't curing any symptoms! thankfully i brought my own box of "puffs" tissues to work. i'm sure everyone in the adjoining cubicles was revolted by my constant blowing. took a two hour nap after work, ate soup, back to sleep.

tuesday: another work day. ex-roommate's birthday party dinner at a restaurant downtown. i thought i would have to miss it but then i'd seem like a jerk ... a sick jerk. when i got home from work i took off my shoes and flopped in the bed for an hour. then had a bath and was able to make the dinner. i stayed for one hour and was the first to leave but my presence was appreciated :)

wednesday: still sickish but more in my head, less body. general weak feeling. date night ... didn't do much - just watched top model and supersize vs superskinny :) love those shows!

today i'm feeling better. i still need my puffs tissues but i feel like i can think and be productive without feeling totally overwhelmed. at lunch i went for a walk since the weather was nice and sunny. i freaked a little because i thought i had mapped out a three mile walk but it seemed like i was so far away from my office. i didn't want to be late getting back. it wasn't a problem but my concern made my walk much less enjoyable than the casual stroll i had planned. after work today i seemed to have more energy than ever so i went swimming. it was pretty great!

hopefully tomorrow i'll be back to 85% or 90%. tomorrow is my weigh-in and i'm not too excited about it - i haven't exercised all week except today and definitely have not lost anything. for some reason when i'm sick the thought of eating vegetables disgusts me. it's carbs all the way. i haven't been overeating but my body seems to hate me lately. i show love and it shows hate ... no fair.

in other news, i am really looking forward to tomorrow. not only is it FRIDAY, but it's going to be sunny and 19 degrees celsius and i'm going to see jerry seinfeld live in concert. is a comedy routine still called "in concert"? i don't know. hopefully by tomorrow night i'll feel like drinking again - everything is much more funny with a glass of wine or two. :)

holiday

it's friday morning and i am sitting in my den. hooray! no work today! i woke up initially at 7:15 am, and went back to sleep until after 9. that's more than nine hours of sleep ... heaven. i made a coffee and drank it on my balcony, which was so sunny and warm. i didn't even need a jacket.

i had a great swim in the pool and it's only 11 am - that means i have the rest of the day to do whatever i want. i am going to rearrange my bedroom furniture. it's the one room of my apartment that is always so messy. hopefully a new set up will inspire me to keep it a little cleaner.

today is friday weigh in and i gained again! dammit. i gained 0.6 pounds since last week. combine that with the 0.4 i gained last week and i am up a whole pound. obviously i am doing something wrong ... but what? i wanted to lose 10 pounds and i've got 8.2 to go ... yip eee.

yesterday at the gym i just did strength training on my legs and abs. i did walking lunges (and could do three sets of 10 because i did them first), squats, deadlifts, leg press, and four kinds of crunches. i think i am going to stick with these exercises. my arms get a good enough workout through swimming and when i workout my whole body, i really get the shakes and feel like vomiting. that's not good.

tonight i am going to the keg mansion for some friend's birthdays. if you love the keg, you will really love the keg mansion. it's the same menu but in the restaurant is a beautiful old haunted house - really nice. this (the picture) is really how it looks. have a great easter weekend!

making it snappy

i've got to make it snappy because i'm posting in real time today, before work! i got up at 5:30 am to go to the bathroom and couldn't get back to sleep ... where the time went? i do not know. it's so early! technically shirls, i am up before you because of the time difference. so there hehe. i could not imagine waking up at 5 am everyday. madness!

last night before my homedate i went swimming in the pool. it was alright. yesterday at canadian tire i bought a kickboard with a grimacing shark on it, so i switched up my routine a little and that did make it better. i also bought a pool noodle to lay on and a tennis ball to sit on. i think all that stuff did more initial harm than good because i had a bit of trouble walking last night. today i'm fine. and i have pool crap all over my apartment - wah wah wee wah.

today i'm going to the work gym at lunch. randi, i don't have coverage for anything until 3-months into my job - then i will know if i can see the sports physio man. i would assume so, but you never know. i am just going to do strength training on my abs, back, and legs. my arms are buff enough - thank you. and doing strength training on my arms was giving me a bit of soreness while swimming - my arms felt like socks. i mean rocks. typing error.

tonight is the weekend - ya ya ya! i am meeting an old friend after work for a drink, and then he is taking me to his brand new house in milton that he doesn't even live in yet. empty new houses are so creepy, i love it. better get a move on now! until tomorrow ...

the worst weather

wow. the weather was really bad yesterday and more of it is expected today. cold, windy, raining, SNOWING. yelch! and driving is especially terrible, especially when one lane of the onramp of my second highway is closed for the foreseeable future. i'm complaining carol, i apologize.

i've been really busy lately. so busy, in fact, that i have to schedule time for things like "ironing" and "running the dishwasher." i have a lot of creative work to do - for work and for groups i joined in my personal life. and i want to keep up with swimming and my new strength training routine and be sleeping by 11pm every night. (i have to wake up at 6:15 - that's why i have to go to bed early.)

on sunday night i managed to turn off the lights at 11:23pm. pretty good considering the sunday morning sleep in and feeling a bit more energetic. i've started sleeping with my bedroom window open - i've turned off the heat but it's still hot in my condo apartment and if i don't open the window i wake up in a hot/cold sweat. so the window is open, and suddenly i hear people talking. who is talking? is someone on my balcony? i look at the clock. it's 3:15am. three fifteen people! my very new neighbour (we share a balcony split by a glass wall) is having some sort of wacky patio party. gahhhhhhh! who has friends over until 3:15am on a sunday night?! nothing good can come of this! nothing!

anyway, enough complaining carol. yesterday after work i came home and went swimming. i really didn't want to but i pushed through. my leg/bum muscles are sore from sunday's workout, but way less so than before. i have some nice muscle soreness in the middle of my back from doing the seated cable row. the trick is to squeeze your back muscles together every time you pull back. this man is happier when his arms are straight. me too buddy, me too. i am going to the work gym today at lunch for another strength training workout.

one more thing. i'm in a cardio rut. i am so sick of swimming. i've been doing it for so many months, it's boring to me now, my arms are way too buff for their own good, it's not challenging, etc. maybe i should just start running again. maybe i'm just terrified of the bum pain but it's something that can be worked through. maybe i'm so scared of the pain that it's only in my head - the fear that it might return i mean ... i am going to think about it. i will post my decision, when i decide of course. biggest loser tonight - i haven't watched in weeks. good thing i scheduled my ironing for tonight ;)


ps. did anyone notice that balcony party picture is a "pimpz n hoz" party - free beer woohoo!

physical or mental pain

yesterday wasn't the best day. one of my going-to-work highways was blocked so i was redirected in the morning and had to take a road with many stoplights which almost made me late for work. i wasn't phewf! right now in the car i'm listening to to kill a mockingbird by harper lee. i have got to say, it's so much better than i remember it being when i read it in high school ... or whenever that was. the actress sissy spacek is reading it and while i find her kind of irritating to look at on film, her voice is very fitting.

today i was going to venture down to the weight room at work and start my new weight lifting routine. i am a bit apprehensive ... just silliness because i don't know who is going to be there or if they have a set routine or if i'm going to get in someone's way ... that sort of ridiculousness. i'm sure it will be fine. it's like the first time doing anything - scary, but once you do it - it ain't no thang but a chicken wang.

i was all ready to go down, but about an hour before lunch i started feeling intensely queasy. throw up sick kind of feeling. not good. i really thought i might heave ho. i thought maybe i'm thirsty. nope. maybe i'm hungry. nope. maybe i need to take an "aleve" that my friend gave to me for bum pain purposes ... maybe that worked because the pain did go away, but not until lunch was almost over. i just sat at my desk. boo.

so. my plan is to go today at lunch. what's stopping me but nothing? exactly. my workout clothes are already at work - i just have to step up to the plate. i don't need to hit it out of the park, i just need to swing. do you like my baseball analogies? i do. sort of ... baseball can be dull. except of course during the seventh inning stretch when people madly rush out and sweep the plates on the field, and the team mascot shoots hotdogs into the crowd out of a giant shooter hotdog. fun. :)

yesterday after work i went straight to the pool for a swim. i was done at 5:30pm, which left me lots of time to myself. nice. tonight is date night. i have to vacuum before my boyfriend comes over. for some reason, i think i need to vacuum more than regular people. maybe it's because i have a cat, but it's not like i'm vacuuming up only hair. it's one of life's great mysteries.

yoga jeans

i have found the best jeans of all time. well, i found them based on the recommendation of my blog friend, amanda. they are called yoga jeans and the gimmick is that they are so comfortable and stretchy, you can do yoga in them. love them. they weren't cheap but you can't put a price tag on comfort.

today had its good and bad points. pretty good day at work, came home went swimming, went to my friend's house and she has a 6-week old kitten cccccuuuuuuuttttiiiieeeeppiiieeeee. the bad points are it's freezing outside, i made my lunch last night but FORGOT it in my home fridge, my apartment is pretty messy. ah, the usual.

my weekend was good but i could have tried harder to eat well. on saturday i went for a walk with my bf, and on sunday i went swimming until i was rudely interrupted by a family who didn't get that i was swimming laps along the wall and just needed them to move over by half a metre. they had to stand in my way, even though the rest of the pool was free. lunatics. i could have said something, but didn't want to start something. and they didn't speak English and that could have been awkward.

my goal this week is to use the gym at work and start a weight lifting strength training routine. i brought my stuff to do it today, but since i forgot my lunch at home (doh), i had to go and get lunch.

it wasn't completely unproductive. i went to the bulk barn where i bought whole flax seeds. i am a fool for buying the expensive pre-ground seeds from the organic section in the grocery store. 1) they were so cheap. i bought a huge bag and it didn't even cost $2. 2) i ground them coarsely in my coffee grinder (which i never use for coffee) and they taste so much better. there is no comparison. now they are totally yummy and before it was just bland tasteless nothing.

howdy doody.

wah wah wee wah

i gotta tell you... i am pooped. on wednesday night my boyfriend and i went to see the musical "spring awakening" - first half good, second half bad. i just listened to "animal farm" on audiobook and the sheep keep saying, "four legs good, two legs baaaaaaaaad" and i can't get it out of my head. those sheep! anyway, the musical was worth seeing but strange. i would want people to make up their own minds.


tonight was book club. i managed to get a swim in beforehand but the timing was tight. still, i wanted to stick to the plan and i did.

so far, eating this week has been pretty good. since i can't use any activity points, i'm down 5 flex which isn't much. fridays are normally pretty tame and then saturday is my tough day.

i am just so happy that tomorrow is friday! seriously, my body is CRAVING a weekend. i want it bad and i want it now. thank you and goodnight. :) ps. tomorrow is my weigh-in day. i know i only started tracking again on monday, but monday weigh-ins are depressing. fridays are were it's at.

day two thank you

day two was another food and exercise success. i ate breakfast at home, had lunch plus two snacks at work, went swimming and had a delicious dinner. on monday night i did have a vitatop brownie, but it's all good. now that i am back to tracking on ww online, i realize how different the site is. i know they changed the plan to the "momentum" plan, but since my points never changed and i already ate the more "healthy" filling foods anyway i didn't really look at it too much.

the new plan gives you a daily points allotment, 35 weekly points, and activity points. BUT you must use all of your daily points AND weekly points before any of your activity points are deducted. AND you can only use your activity points on the same day you earn them. so basically, you don't really get them except for the last day unless you eat all of your weekly points early on in the week, which heaven forbid, i would never do. i think that is how it works. i'm sure somebody will correct me if i'm not. i did a google search on this and apparently people are inconvenienced and outraged by this. i don't care because it's not the end of the world, is it? what is a point anyway but a figment of my imagination? a meaningless obstacle on this road we call weight loss. i'm deep.

my dinner last night was an egg white omelet. i wanted an egg, but i didn't have one. i did have lots of leftover veggies though. i chopped and heated up some red onion, zucchini, red pepper, mushrooms, spinach, tomatoes, avocado, and sun-dried tomato. then i poured 3/4 cup egg whites onto another pan and let it cook into a circle. transfer to a plate, pour the veggies on half, fold it over, sprinkle with chili lime sauce, add 2 slices of ezekiel toast, and you have a delicious, nutritious, filling 5.5 point meal.

in other news, my skin is really breaking out. what is with this mid-life acne! grrrr. i use pro-activ but it's not working. i think it's from stress and womanly business. who can be sure though? taking ground flax has eliminated most of my PMS symptoms (except the extreme snappiness and sensitivity) WHO SAID THAT!@@?@?@!! i'm sorry, come back, i love you.



mmm look at that candy. tonight is date night and i am going to see the musical "spring awakening" with my beau. i am very excited. first we are going to sears so i can buy more nylons for work, second we are going to harveys for dinner (6 point veggie burger OR grilled chicken salad) and third to the really big shoe. i am not swimming tomorrow but may do yoga in the morning. that's a big "may" since i already get up at 6:15 as it is! happy wednesday. one day at a time, right?

face the music

thank you bi0nic - your tip of taking it one day at a time is really speaking to me.

so...

i weighed in yesterday. it wasn't good. it wasn't that bad either. i've got ten pounds to lose. GROAN. i don't know. i'm kind of on the fence with my feelings. on one hand, i can't believe i gained ten pounds. i should slap my own face! on the other hand, i am staying positive about it. and this may seem weird to many of you, but losing weight is sort of fun for me. now don't get me wrong, maintenance is probably more fun, but i get a real thrill from working out and eating right and watching the scale drop knowing i deserve it.

there you have it. yesterday (even though i am posting in advance and it is yesterday still) was a great day. now i really can't mess it up! i stayed within my points and went swimming even though i felt tired. i swam for 35 minutes and then called it a day. i only had 3 points left for dinner but i stuck it out: a slice of rye toast, 2/3 cup of fat free cottage cheese and 3/4 cup of unsweetened frozen blueberries. i noticed that i only had one dairy serving today - that's why i chose da cheeze. yes, i said "da cheeze" ... it's my blog, you can't stop me!

in other news, my new job is great so far, i'm learning a lot and have a new macbook to work on and bring home every night. i haven't used it at home yet though... my pc is just so convenient! my apartment is an absolute mess ... must do something about that soon. i am still getting adjusted to being up and out of the house so early (by 7:15!) so i'm cutting myself some slack. ah, today at work the secretary brought me a card, sent in the mail. how weird... i mean, who even knows my work address, let alone that i work there. it was a card from my bf telling me how proud he is of me. aw shucks, i know! the outside of the card is really funny. it's got two lady eggs walking down the street. they spot a multicoloured egg and the one egg says, "check out the dye job on her..." and then the other one says, "tramp." hehehe, funny.

three little things

1) i did go swimming last night - holla!

2) i've recently become very motivated to increase the size of my flat bum - in a good muscle way of course. more on that later.

3) that's all i can say because i have a date with...