out of control

i am feeling out of control. again. again again again! again? seriously? i told myself at the beginning of the year that i would stop weighing myself every friday. i stopped because that weigh in could make or break the day and that's stupid. if i was within my maintenance range i was happy, and if i had gained i was angry at myself with poor self-esteem. so no more. so this year i said i would weigh myself once per month, at the beginning of each month ... so i weighed in at the beginning of february and haven't since!

and i've got to be honest here. i haven't weighed in because i don't want to see the number on the scale. my clothes still fit pretty much, although i can tell my pants are tighter. when i look at myself nude in the bathroom mirror i can see definite changes in my body shape and not good ones. flabby tummy, saggy bum, the pooch coming back, etc. i am an "apple" shape and gain weight in my midsection right away. i have narrow hips so any gain in the middle gives me an unflattering boy-shaped figure. not cool.

but i'm not going to dwell on it. boo hoo poor me. i'm going to take action and here is my plan. yes people, another plan.

1) i am going to track my food intake on wwonline again. i am still a member and was not using it out of sheer laziness. since i have to be at work early, i can fix my meals the night before and use that to track, saving anywhere from 5-10 points for dinner, depending on workouts and flexpoints, etc. here is tomorrow's plan - i am having the oatbran with flax and berries for morning snack, and the pb larabar for an afternoon snack. oh, and my lunch is tuna mixed with plan nonfat yogurt over a salad. try it instead of mayo - i like it :)


2) vegetables are my friend. see the above menu for an example.

3) plan workouts in advance. this week i'm going to swim AFTER work monday, tuesday, possibly thursday, and saturday. i'm going to do yoga on wednesday and friday morning, and i'm going to do weight training in the office at lunch on friday. maybe before that but i have to finish my book club book this week before thursday.

4) not be tempted by others. it's ok to say no, or not drink wine while others are (wah), etc. i think planning is key here.

5) i think during the week i'd like to go for small meals more times per day, and especially a small dinner. i am one of those people who would save up 1/2 her points for a bigger dinner, and be ravenous all day. i hate feeling hungry so no more.

i think that's about it for now. does anyone have any motivational tips for me?

this week: the plan

i need a plan this week. i am going out for dinner on wednesday to the college street bar for a friend's birthday, and on friday my boyfriend and i are skipping town for a romantic valentine's weekend minibreak to niagara falls. i need a plan.

goals: i want to get in 4 cardio sessions, 2 yoga/pilates videos, lose some stomach bloat, and of course, grab the bull by the balls (as usual).

here is today's meal plan so far:

carnation strawberry instant breakfast (3)
1 cup skim milk (2)

second cup breakfast cookie (4)

homemade salad with spinach, lettuce, carrot shreds, baby tomatoes, 1 TBSP toasted almonds (1), and 3 TBSP newman's own low-fat balsamic viniagrette dressing (1)

pc blue menu spinach and cheese cannelloni microwave dinner (4)

maybe some fish for dinner? yet to be determined.

exercise plan!
monday: 3-5 miles walking on treadmill (later)
tuesday: 40 minute morning swim, 20 minute evening yoga download
wednesday: 40 minute morning swim
thursday: 40 minute morning swim OR 3-5 treadmill walk, 20 minute evening yoga download
friday: not sure yet
saturday & sunday: i think i'll bring my zune to get in some yoga workouts. i love the stretch and am really trying hard to increase my flexibility.

in other news, this weekend i bought a new coat. it is from canadian spirit and is a dream come true. i am just so sick of being cold in my fashion wool coats. wool does not cut it for canadian winters. this one has: "detachable hood with removable faux fur trim, irregular box quilting, invisible zippered pockets, double welt front zipper closure, extended inner fleece cuffs." and it's black.

time to get it together

whoops, i forgot to post on friday. i was having lunch with a friend, that must be why i forgot. we went to a restaurant/pub and i ordered a cheeseburger and fries. wooooooo let me tell you how sick i felt ALL afternoon. i mean not good. i used to get this feeling quite regularly - the feeling like you need a bathroom NOW so there better be one in the immediate vicinity feeling - but not for a couple of years since i changed my eating habits. i think it's all of the greasy trans fats. oh trans fats, you taste so good but are bad in every way.

my weekend was good. on friday night it was my boyfriend's bi-monthly music and art showcase. this time can.adian ido.l finalist moo.kie mor.ris was performing and it was really really packed. it was a good night and we went out for last night chinese food with friends after the show. i didn't get to bed until almost 5, and slept in until 1:30... can you believe it? needless to say saturday went by way too fast.

i was feeling a bit chubb all weekend. when my new jeans were a bit tight last week, i knew something was up so i bit the bullet and got on the scale this morning. after the weekend and everything. i was repeating in my head, "please not more than 5 pounds about maintenance, please not more than that" and it wasn't that bad. only about a pound over. but still. in december i was happy at the low end of my range and i can feel the difference in the fit of my clothes and my body confidence.

i have decided to use the same plan of attack that i used at the beginning of december. eating on a schedule (8am, 11am, 2pm, 5pm, 8pm) and sticking to higher-protein options so that i won't feel hungry. this really was effective last time. whatever works! i'm also going to keep exercising and drink more water.

workouts have been pretty awesome. on friday morning and saturday afternoon, i went for 40 minute swims, and then yesterday i did a 20 minute "yoga for runners" download from yogadownload.com. it was really hard and i didn't like it. afterwards i realized that it was an intermediate program, level 3, and since i'm a beginning i should be sticking to level 1s only. i downloaded a few of those and this morning i did the 20 minute gentle hatha #1 download. a lot of the 20 minute downloads are free. i am going to try them out and if i like them, i'll purchase longer versions. one of my main goals is to increase my flexibility, especially hamstrings.

tonight my plans are doing some exercise probably (either biking, swimming, or walking), and watching gossip girl. and reading gone with the wind of course. 800 pages down, 224 to go! ;)

best present ever

thanks everybody for your nice birthday wishes yesterday. i didn't stay on plan but i'm fine with it. and i said i wasn't going to eat cake but i did anyway. it had a sparkler on top, how could i resist?

i can't believe that i actually thought my boyfriend forgot my birthday. he really is very sweet and thoughtful and it would be very unlike him. he made me dinner and we had fast fry steaks, sweetened cooked carrots, and this rice that was flavoured like chicken. then he brought out this little round cake (like the size of a baseball) with a sparkler on top. it was chocolate but had orange mousse inside... yummy. we didn't finish the whole thing but i still ate a pretty decent portion.

and he gave me the best present ever. wrapped in paper was a rice a roni box (that's when i realized we had rice a roni for dinner.) and i said, "ah, rice a roni, the san francisco treat." and then i opened the box, and inside was a card that said he is taking me...

on a roadtrip vacation...

down the coast of california...

from san francisco to LA. AMAZING! i'm soooooooo lucky!

california! the land of dreams haha. see? best present ever. we'll be at the corner of haight and ashbury soon enough!


i drank WAY too much wine last night and am feeling the effects today. but i still got up and did 30 minutes of fast running on the treadmill. why? because i am back on the plan today... and it includes exercising everyday. i didn't think it was strange to exercise on my birthday. i really love exercising, especially in the morning. it makes my body feel charged up and puts me in a great mood (most of the time anyway).

i got this email this morning about why exercising in the morning is tops. here are the reasons:

1) Exercising early in the morning "jump starts" your metabolism, keeping it elevated for hours, sometimes for up to 24 hours! As a result, you'll be burning more calories all day long--just because you exercised in the morning.

2) Exercising in the morning energizes you for the day--not to mention that gratifying feeling of virtue you have knowing you've done something disciplined and good for you. (Much better than a worm!)

3) Studies have shown that exercise significantly increases mental acuity--a benefit that lasts four to ten hours after your workout ends. Exercising in the a.m. means you get to harness that brainpower, instead of wasting it while you're snoozing.

4) Assuming you make exercise a true priority, it shouldn't be a major problem to get up 30 to 60 minutes earlier--especially since regular exercise generally means a higher quality of sleep, which in turn means you'll probably require less sleep. (If getting up 30 to 60 minutes earlier each day seems too daunting, you can ease into it with 10 to 20 minutes at first.)

5) When you exercise at about the same time every morning--especially if you wake up regularly at about the same time--you're regulating your body's endocrine system and circadian rhythms. Your body learns that you do the same thing just about every day, and it begins to prepare for waking and exercise several hours before you actually open your eyes.

and 6) Exercise Extra: More than 90% of those who exercise consistently have a morning fitness routine. If you want to exercise on a regular basis, the odds are in your favor if you squeeze your workout into the a.m.

so there you have it. i have my first dress sewing class tonight until 9 so i had to bring all my food to work, which is kind of annoying but alright. for breakfast i am trying something new: pumpkin carrot oatmeal. i'm mixing 1 packet of quaker regular instant oatmeal, with 1/3 cup shredded carrots, 1/4 cup pure pumpkin, splenda and cinnamon. hopefully this will be a good combo!

protein powder

i never thought i would use protein powder but i got some on the weekend and it's very yummy. i got whey isolate, which is apparently the best for you, and vanilla flavour. i had a banana vanilla smoothie as part of my breakfast this morning and it was deee-lish.

i really need to buckle down this week and focus. i am up even more (despite good choices this weekend... i was very aware of everything i ate and felt good about it) and hovering around 123 pounds. this is 3 pounds above my maintenance range people... unacceptable. it's time to STOP THE MADNESS!

i have decided to combat it by 1) exercising every day (not a problem) 2) having breakfast be my biggest meal of the day, then lunch, and dinner the smallest 3) no carbs at dinner (but def. carbs at breakfast and lunch... i am not crazy - i need energy for the exercise) 4) drinking distilled water to flush out the salt 5) more protein than normal to increase satiety.

on saturday i had a great run. it was about 6 1/2 miles or 10 1/2 km... i chose a new route through this polish part of town. it was fun seeing a different part of the city. cute bakeries and shops and lots of people out enjoying their saturdays. yesterday i took a rest day and went home to visit my parents for father's day. i got my dad a book about golf... boring to me but that's what he wanted!

this morning i went for a 4-mile run and i was a lot faster than normal. there is something to be said about HIIT improving speed. if i feel up to it i might do 20 minutes of HIIT tonight after work. maybe... that would be hardcore. :)

weekend is OVER

the weekend is finally over and not a moment too soon. i need to get my bumhoolio into gear. my jeans felt so tight all weekend... they are tight anyway but it's getting obscene. i really feel like a fatty mcbutterpants today. so... no sense whining about it... time to get moving. here is my plan.

1) exercise it up.

2) count calories.

3) no drinking booze.

4) no nighttime snacking.

5) water... a lot of it.

the situation isn't *that* out of control so i'm hoping that even a few days will make a big diff.

this morning i went down to the treadmill to run. normally i hate the dreadmill, but i was excited about it today because i found this 45-minute treadmill plan online. so i did that this morning, but instead of stopping at 45-min, i continued running until 55 minutes so i could reach 5-miles. it was a really good workout, especially with some of the crazy inclines.

that being said, my bum pain is out of control. it was fine all weekend and then this morning it hurt soooooo much. just at the beginning for walking, and cool down at the end of the workout. i guess during the run my endorphins are pumping through the pain. now i am gimping like gimpy magoo. i don't like it! i will sit in a bath tonight to make it feel better.

here is a picture of the dress:



it looks like i have three arms, don't you think? but such a great dress... i love it :o)

today on the menu is:

cinnamon weight control oatmeal
1/2 cup all bran
1 T flax
coffee
source yogurt

1 cup plain 2% yogurt
1/2 cup raspberries
2 T pumpkin
28 baby carrots
2 slices sprouted grains toast

breaded chicken breast
whole wheat pita
with lettuce, onions, tomato, mustard
side of greeny beanies

and hopefully i can stop there.

easter monday

nobody should have to work on easter monday! what's going on!? actually i think most people are working. and i'm happy to be back to work today because being at work really helps me stay on track with eating during the day. despite my gain on friday, i still ate like crap on the weekend. i went to a girl's sleepover on saturday night and on sunday went to easter brunch/lunch/dinner at both my boyfriend's parent's house and my parent's house. it could have been worse but it wasn't great. anyway, now is the time for action.

lately (the past month or so) i've been feeling really lethargic. maybe it's because it's STILL cold outside, and i just want to run outside and ride my bike to work again and that isn't happening yet, or maybe because i'm stressed about all of my home improvement projects that just seem to loom over my head all the time. i need to slap some sense into myself. and this is my plan.

1) count everything (points) during the week, and be sensible on the weekend. by sensible i mean not going overboard by drinking too much, not going to mcdonalds (not that i ever do that anyway haha), eating more healthful meals, etc.

2) get more sleep, especially during the week. i love staying up at night because it feels like my own personal quiet time. sleeping personal time is good too.

3) try to become less ocd about working out. run three times a week, and vary activities for the other days.

4) create a to-do list for home stuff and knock stuff off the list that way.

this morning i walked to work (2.3 miles) and after work i am going to get movie tickets for a saturday canadian film fest screening of spencer rice's new movie. spencer is spenny from that showcase show "kenny and spenny" which is really funny. he should be at the movie on saturday which is neat to the o.

and today i'm eating:

source yogurt (1)
(1)

regular oatmeal with added flax (2)
5 oz. strawberries (0.5)
(3.5)

source yogurt (1)
(4.5)

lean cuisine (6)
5 oz. strawberries (0.5)
(11)

source yogurt (1)
1 cup grapes (1)
(13)

dinner: ?