out of control

i am feeling out of control. again. again again again! again? seriously? i told myself at the beginning of the year that i would stop weighing myself every friday. i stopped because that weigh in could make or break the day and that's stupid. if i was within my maintenance range i was happy, and if i had gained i was angry at myself with poor self-esteem. so no more. so this year i said i would weigh myself once per month, at the beginning of each month ... so i weighed in at the beginning of february and haven't since!

and i've got to be honest here. i haven't weighed in because i don't want to see the number on the scale. my clothes still fit pretty much, although i can tell my pants are tighter. when i look at myself nude in the bathroom mirror i can see definite changes in my body shape and not good ones. flabby tummy, saggy bum, the pooch coming back, etc. i am an "apple" shape and gain weight in my midsection right away. i have narrow hips so any gain in the middle gives me an unflattering boy-shaped figure. not cool.

but i'm not going to dwell on it. boo hoo poor me. i'm going to take action and here is my plan. yes people, another plan.

1) i am going to track my food intake on wwonline again. i am still a member and was not using it out of sheer laziness. since i have to be at work early, i can fix my meals the night before and use that to track, saving anywhere from 5-10 points for dinner, depending on workouts and flexpoints, etc. here is tomorrow's plan - i am having the oatbran with flax and berries for morning snack, and the pb larabar for an afternoon snack. oh, and my lunch is tuna mixed with plan nonfat yogurt over a salad. try it instead of mayo - i like it :)


2) vegetables are my friend. see the above menu for an example.

3) plan workouts in advance. this week i'm going to swim AFTER work monday, tuesday, possibly thursday, and saturday. i'm going to do yoga on wednesday and friday morning, and i'm going to do weight training in the office at lunch on friday. maybe before that but i have to finish my book club book this week before thursday.

4) not be tempted by others. it's ok to say no, or not drink wine while others are (wah), etc. i think planning is key here.

5) i think during the week i'd like to go for small meals more times per day, and especially a small dinner. i am one of those people who would save up 1/2 her points for a bigger dinner, and be ravenous all day. i hate feeling hungry so no more.

i think that's about it for now. does anyone have any motivational tips for me?

not weighing in

this not weighing myself weekly is the best thing i've done in months (in regards to my personal health). it is so wonderful to wake up on friday morning, not dread getting on the scale, congratulate myself on a week of good food choices and hard work in the gym, and move on. this morning i looked in the mirror and was very pleased with what i saw. if i got on the scale and saw that i was two pounds above my maintenance range, that would put a damper on my whole morning.

i'm going to have to weigh myself sometime i guess. maybe at the beginning of every month. how does that sound?

today is a good day. it's freezing outside, but sunny. nothing is worse than freezing and gloomy. i went to the gym early and did 30 minutes on the elliptical, and then some sit-ups and bum exercises. working out in the morning really takes a lot of effort. my heart rate was pushing 170 the whole time, and after 23 minutes, i thought i might faint. i lowered the resistance and i was able to complete the 30 minutes.

today is also a good day because on the way to the office, my mom called and asked if i could stop by my dad's work and pick up a pill she needed. i did and my dad gave me a bottle of blueberry mead. oh yum! it's from the trafalgar brewing company. here is a description:

"Blueberry Mead: 9% alc/vol.

Blueberries, from the fields of PEI, are blended with fermented honey and water then cold aged to become unique melomel style mead. Blending the most “Canadian” of berries with the oldest style of beverage alcohol results in a drink that is surprising in its refreshing dryness. Blueberry mead is enjoyed over ice or well chilled."

for lunch today i am really vegging it up. i have a baggy with chopped carrots, 1/2 red pepper and 1/2 zucchini. and hummus for dipping. sabra hummus - the most magical of all hummuses. and i also have a hummus and veggie wrap. last night i sauteed the other half of the red pepper and zucchini, and 1/2 onion and some mushrooms. what a delicious wrap it's going to be.

and finally, my hair turned out really fab. i will try to snap a photo on the weekend. i didn't have to go "natural" or really short. my stylish just cut it shorter at the back, and gave me highlights and lowlights, which looks rad and choppy(ish). and when my hair grows out a little, it will blend better and i won't look like a reverse skunkhead.